Behind This Disguise
by The.Wild.Thing.That.Was
Summary: John loses his memory, and Karkat is sent to go after him. This wouldn't be so HARD ON HIS FLIPPING EMOTIONS, if he didn't love that stupid human so much... they were matesprites after all. What reason did John have to leave? It wasn't fair. Johnkat. Kind of long plot.
1. Chapter 1

The lights stayed bright in Mr. Cinder's Grocery. They never seemed to flicker, and always left a welcoming glow to the many customers that flocked to its aisles. John loved the friendliness of this place, or most of it at least. It would have been a little bit more bearable, if Tom, the checkouts supervisor didn't look down his nose at the spikey black haired eighteen year old so much.

Yet John didn't really mind. He was lucky, after all, to have found such a sturdy job in such a small town when he wasn't even attending school. It's not like he didn't want to go to college, but he had no idea what he wanted to do at this point, and besides, his Dad wasn't concerned with him attending school just yet, even though he did have a fund set up for when the time came through his business.

Tick. Tock.

His blue eyes glanced to the clock in the break room. He only had one more minute before work would pull him in again. He stretched out his legs under the table, only to retract them, scooting back his chair and giving a small yawn. "Oh man, I'm kind of tired already!" He mused, chuckling slightly to himself. "Well I guess that means that I'm going to bed early tonight." He turned his heel, walking out of the break room, and punching back in for work.

His job went fairly easily as the night went on. Not too many people expected much out of him, although occasionally he got asked the location of a specific food item. Though despite his job being somewhat new, he never seemed to have a problem directing them in the right direction.

Only when he had an hour and a half left did he hear the gruff but professional tone of Mr. Cinders, himself. "Egbert."

John whirled his head around, to face his boss with a toothy grin. "Huh? What is it?"

His boss sighed, rubbing his neck and letting his forehead crease into a small frown. "Look son, I know that we promised you extra hours tonight, but sales have been short, and it seems that you're going to have to clock out early."

John's face fell, but only slightly. He knew that he needed the hours, but he didn't want to worry his boss by showing him that he was upset. "It's okay." He said, producing a cheery tone. "Hehe, after all, I did my best while I was here."

His boss nodded, beginning to walk away. "I'll get you those extra hours next week. You do good, son. I'm glad that I hired ya."

"Thanks!" John beamed, turning to get his stuff, and heading out into the cool fall air.

He couldn't drive, despite being of age, so instead he began his mile long trudge to his small apartment on the edge of town. Man, he had never thought about it, but this was going to be a really cold walk in the winter months. Maybe he could bum a ride off of someone who actually had a car. It would make sense, rather than freezing himself.

Once home, he slid his key into his door, walking in and throwing his coat over a kitchen chair. "You wouldn't believe how slow business was today Casey!" John stated, looking at a small fish tank in the corner of the living room. "I guess it is our slowest day of the week, but hey! At least I got some money out of it!"

He crouched down beside the tank, studying the goldfish with a small fondness. "So how did your day go today? I bet you swam a lot!"

The fish released a small bubble from its mouth, flicking its tail and swimming off to its little underwater castle prop.

"Fair enough." John shrugged, going over and lying down on the couch. "I was pretty tired earlier, so I'm just going to crash here for the night." He mumbled, as his eyes drifted close and his thought began to wander away to dreamland.

XXXXXXXX

That fucking piece of shit. So this was where he was hiding! It only took three god damn months to find him. Three agonizing months…

Karkat Vantas stood across the street from a two story tall white apartment complex with a scowl on his face and a hand on his hip. The day John had disappeared with no warning; everyone who knew him had spread out to look for the boy. It wasn't fair to anyone, but the troll felt that it was definitely not fair to him.

He tugged at a bracelet around his wrist with an irritated sigh. This place John had gone to wasn't exactly safe for him to be lounging around at. When they had won the game the second time, this planet was created, but they had screwed up once again. ONCE AGAIN it was a human populated planet, and as it grew trolls were nothing but a myth. If he were to show himself here, at this point the human population would have the power to erase him from existence. Which was PRETTY FUCKING STUPID, considering that ONCE AGAIN, he was a God. This game surely was meant to show no respect.

Ah yes, so what did he have to do to not be seen? He looked down at the bracelet with a dissatisfied taste. The bracelet was a cloaking device, and it was as simple as that. With it, his body had the power to appear human. It was humiliating, but that was beside the point.

He marched across the street, going up to the apartment that he was almost certain was John's and gave a very loud rap against the door's wooden surface.

He heard a thud and then shuffling. "I'll be right there!" Came a groggy call.

That voice…

This was John's hive. There was no denying it now.

The door opened slightly as the teenage boy peeked out. "Hi? Can I help you?"

Karkat wasn't about to wait for John to open the door. He brushes a long black sleeved hand against its frame, pushing it open and walking into his apartment without further notice.

John stumbled back, a look of shock on his face. "You know that you're not supposed to just walk into houses, right? Who are you?" He choked out, staring at this newcomer who had shoved his way into his home.

Karkat spun around to face the boy, taking in what had been missing for so long. "Look, I know that I don't look like myself right now, but it's me." He folded his arms. "It's Karkat. Who the fuck else?"

John blinked, staring at him for a good long couple of seconds, before raising a hand as if to say something but putting it back down immediately. "I don't think I know you? That's kind of a funny name. Hehe…Karkat…Also, you are kind of loud."

Karkat's hand slowly graced his face. "You are just as idiotic as I remember, John Human."

John was about to open his mouth, but paused, shooting the disguised troll a quizzical look. "Human? But you're human too silly!"

Karkat did the same thing as John in that moment, opening his mouth but closing it as his red eyes were unable to contain the hurt that weld up in them. "Jesus fucking shit…." He remarked, sleeved hands falling to his side as he stared at John. "I'm such an idiot for not seeing this." He walked up to John, placing a hand on his shoulder hesitantly. "You don't have a clue who I am, because your think pan doesn't register my existence. You don't remember anything about your friends, about us. This is just my fucking luck. I come all the way out here to find that I have to fix your fucking memory streams."

John blinked, still staring slightly. "Uh…"

"Don't you "uh" me. You're coming with me now, whether you like it or not." Karkat scoffed, running a hand through his red humanish hair. "We have to get you back to the others."

John took a step back, completely confused. "Woah dude, like I said, I don't even know you! You're kind of weirding me out, you know…I mean don't you think that I would need some sort of proof that you know me? Or wait! Are you a secret agent, because that would be pretty sweet and explain everything!"

"I'm not a secret…" Karkat stopped himself, trying not to start growling in frustration. "Fuck it." He muttered. "You want proof? I'll give you all of the proof you fucking need." He took a step closer, cornering John against the wall. "I can't tell you everything all over again. Not only would that be utterly pointless, but also extremely time consuming." He brought his face closed to John's, as the human stared at him with a lost expression.

"Did you know that you're really close?" John stated, blinking from behind his glasses.

Karkat scowled, ignoring what John had said, and bringing his face closer, until his lips pressed against the one he had missed since he ran away three long months ago. He brought his lips away, staring at John intensely from behind his spiky bangs. "Listen up Egbert, because I am only going to say this once. I am your fucking God, as you should rightfully understand, but you…" He took a step back, folding his arms. "You are the only one I would call my matesprite. So try to wrap your feeble mind around that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: Okay, so I had to put an antagonist in this chapter, and hopefully it turns out okay. Thanks to all that have read my story so far, and just so you know I WILL AND INTEND TO carry this out to the end.**

John's eyes widened as the stranger's lips contacted his. It felt weird. He wanted to say that it felt nice, but that would be wrong, and he couldn't admit it to himself. "Karkat, I…" He began, not even sure what this matesprite thing he was talking about was.

"What?" The ginger growled.

"I am not a homosexual."

"Shut your fucking mouth hole John. You gave that one up a long time ago." Karkat ran a hand through his hair again. He tended to do that when stressed. It was so weird not feeling horns there, and often time he wondered how the humans could stand living in these fleshy pink worm bodies.

John frowned slightly, his blue eyes concentrating hard. He tapped his glasses and looked up at Karkat again. "I would like to believe you. Really! I would! But you don't have any proof!"

Karkat didn't know what he was supposed to do. He loved this kid, and yet the moron wasn't listening to a single word that was slipping off of his tongue.

An idea struck him, but he almost pushed it away. It was too soon, and too dangerous. Yet they were alone, weren't they? He folded his hands into his pockets, shuffling his feet from side to side. "Look, we weren't exactly always the most matched up pair for each other, but we made it work. Not to mention that I hated you at first and you didn't believe me for what I really was."

John chuckled slightly, shrugging his shoulders. "Well I'm not really believing you now, so…"

Karkat winced at those words. John was such an idiot! This John was at least. He wanted his John back, the one who acknowledged his existence. Out of all the things that could have happened to him, this was the absolute worst. Everything he had known with his matesprite had been lost in the sands of time, and possibly they would never be seen again.

NO.

That wasn't something he was willing to think about. "Look, if I show you something HIGHLY secretive, you have to PROMISE not to open your mouth trap to anyone, or so help me, I will make you regret every moment you decided to tell someone." Karkat mumbled, fidgeting with his bracelet.

John couldn't help but smile at his remark. "You're not helping yourself, dude. Don't you think that it's a bad idea to threaten me, if we are just meeting?"

"WE ARE NOT JUST NOW MEETING, DUMBASS!" Karkat vented, raising his voice a little higher than usual.

John took a step back, still looking very uncomfortable. "Uh, okay?" He rubbed his arm, shifting awkwardly. "So…what were you going to show me?"

Karkat almost didn't want to show him now. This wasn't his John. In fact, this guy was possibly just going to call the human cop system, and he would have to flee back to the meteor ship. "You idiot…" He muttered, biting his lip. "I have no choice. I have to fucking show you. It's my last hope." He brought his arm up to side and out of his pocket, fingers shakily dancing around the metal clasp. He took a deep breath and moved his fingers forwards.

SNAP.

The clasp fell apart, and Karkat looked up at John hesitantly. His eyes faded back so a reddish-golden color. His skin tinted back to grey, and his hair to a shiny jet black. Horns and fangs emerged where human teeth and skin was only a mere second ago.

"This..." He began. "…is who I really am. Yeah, I get it. You can scream like a fucking wriggler, back into a corner, deny that this is what the truth of this shit-riddled reality was created with. Fuck I..." He squeezed his arm, nails digging into his flesh. "What was I thinking? How will this help anything?"

John stared in silence for a few seconds. Not saying anything, but just standing there, before something Karkat didn't expect happened. That goofy grin of his spread across his entire face. "Oh man, this is so sweet! You're an alien? Well why didn't you say so! Woah... I mean, I didn't even know that you guys existed! Can I ask a few questions! What is your planet's name? Do you all have horns like that? How did you disguise yourself? And are you going to lay eggs in my stomach, because I REALLY don't want baby aliens popping out of me in my sleep…"

"Egbert!" Karkat interrupted, hand gracing his face for the second time since his reuniting with the human boy. "SHUT THE FUCK UP. But to answer your questions. Alternia. Yes. A cloaking device. And what the fuck are you talking about?"

John folded his arms. "So you WON'T lay eggs in my stomach?"

Karkat growled slightly poking John in the shoulder. "Why would we do that? Not only is it pointless, because you are NOT a mother grub, but also because what the hell would they do in there? God dammnit, talking about this is weirding me out, I'm not going to lie. Even without your memories, you are still just as impossible John Egbert."

John's body inched a slight bit closer to Karkat. He circled him, looking him up and down carefully. "This whole thing is kind of crazy. I mean REALLY crazy, but I kind of want to believe you, even if it sounds insane. I'll go with you, I think, but there's something I have to do first."

Karkat looked at him with a confused glance, placing his hands slowly back into his grey jeans. But he nodded slowly, signaling that john could do whatever it is that he wanted to do.

The human crossed over to the fish tank in the center of his living room, picking up a bottle, and dumping a few flakes of a strange substance into the water. "I had to feed Casey!" He mused. "I couldn't just go without feeding her if I'm going to be out of the house for a while."

Karkat almost smiled at that point, the very rare occurrence that happened once every half a sweep or so. John WAS coming with. Even if he had no memories, this was good. Things were actually going to fall into place again, or he hoped so. The memories couldn't be gone forever. It was probably just a think pan injury, so it was going to heal.

It had to heal.

This wasn't going to last forever.

Karkat stood there doing nothing for a second, before sliding his bracelet back on, and resuming his cloaking human form. He grabbed John's hand starting to walk towards the door. "Stop standing around like a dumbass Egbert. We have places to attend to."

John blinked, cocking his head to the side. "Uh, if you say so! I've always wanted to go on an adventure. Oh man, wait until the people at my job hear about this!"

Karkat froze in his tracks. "No. Absolutely not. You can't tell anyone John. That would be stupid."

"I …can't?" John's face dropped slightly. "…Oh. But they would think that it's so cool!"

Karkat almost couldn't take it anymore. Those weren't John's real friends. His real friends were back on the meteor. They were waiting for him, and they missed him. He missed him. Well it was more like he missed his memories, because being with John right now…seeing his beautiful human face, was enough to give a small level of satisfaction. "Just keep this a secret okay, Don't jump into dumbass situations without knowing the consequences. I'll tell you right now, that from experience, that is a horrible fucking idea."

"If you say so!" John chuckled, following Karkat out of the door.

It was getting late now, possibly around midnight. The trees blew slightly as wind slowly flowed through them one moment and disappeared the next, being fickle in its movement and unpredictable as wind always was.

John looked around him as they walked through the parking lot. "So where are we going?" He questioned, chewing on his lip idly.

"Home." Karkat answered briefly, continuing to walk forward to the park across the street,

"Hehe, but my home is back there, silly! Unless we are going to your home?"

"I'm not even going to answer that. You seem to have risen to a new level of stupid with that remark, and my amazement never ceases to end with how many levels of stupid lie in your thinking modules." Karkat muttered, looking wildly around the bushes. "Dammnit, I know that it's here somewhere…." He growled.

"What?" John asked, getting even more curious. "What are we looking for? I could help!"

Karkat turned and was about to answer him, when a noise graced itself throughout the forest.

…honk….

His red eyes widened as his grip tightened on John's hand. "That asshole followed us here!? Shit, shit shit shit shit…." He cursed, looking at John with fear written all over him. "We have to get out of here NOW." He stated hoarsely. "It's not safe to go back right now."

The leaves rustled in the bushes next to him, and Karkat immediately got in front of John, only to relax ever so slightly when a bunny scurried out and off into the distance.

….HONK…...

He froze even more so, John still having NO clue what was going on.

A light call could be heard in the distance, as light as the wind itself. "….best friend?"

Karkat gulped, turning to John in the most pleading of manners. "John, now would be a REALLY good time to use that fucking flight of yours to GET US OUT OF HERE."

John, still clueless, laughed and shook his head. "I can't fly, Karkat. Whatever gave you that idea?"

Karkat trembled slightly. "Well I'm telling you now that you can, so hop to it."

But it could almost be considered too late, and a polka dotted pant leg popped out of the bushes, followed by a clown like face disguised as a human. "Eh…heh….HEH. Oh hey best friend….I all up and found you….SUPRISE…motherfucking….surprise."

The clown glanced at John, and frowned slightly. "And here I thought you wouldn't be able to get your discover on with the human…LOOKS LIKE I WAS MOTHERFUCKING WRONG. But that's okay. If I kill him, he won't be all discoverable anymore."

Karkat growled. "Gamzee, now is not the place for this. What did John ever do to you? Why do you keep wanting to kill him?"

John raised his hand slightly to say something. "I'm pretty sure that I've never met you, but if you want I can try and get on your good side? We can even be buddies!" He gave one his famous grins, and a rather cheesy thumbs up in Gamzee's direction.

Gamzee licked his lips, taking a small step closer. "But why be friends, when killing you is so much motherfucking easier?"

Karkat grabbed tightly onto John's arms. "God dammnit John. Fly NOW!"

"I can't! I already told you!" John pleaded. And that's when Gamzee took out his clubs, whirling them between his hands.

He began to move, slowly, almost as if to purposefully drag out the fear, until he flash stepped behind John, raising a club as if to attack.

"Karkat! Look out!" John exclaimed, Tackling Karkat and pushing him out of the way. He expected to hit the ground, as any normal tackle to save someone's life would have ended. But when he opened his eyes the ground was far beneath him. In fact, somehow both of them had ended up above the trees, with Karkat clinging to John's leg for dear life.

John's face lifted as he took in what was around him with pure amazement. "Karkat! Look! We're flying!"

Karkat wrapped himself tighter on John's leg. "No fucking shit, now fly us out of here!"


	3. Chapter 3

The wind, it felt so great! It was like he was free. Yet half of John's mind screamed that this wasn't possible, and that humans could not fly. After that realization, his heart sank. With this information, he could only confirm that all of this was just a dream, and tomorrow morning he would wake up to Casey glubbing at him with intense bubble action. And this Karkat guy, he was also just a dream, but despite that John still felt that he had to save the both of them.

Karkat tightened his grip on John's leg. "Hey Dumbass! Would you mind going somewhere? As in within the next couple of millisecond, instead of you gawking at your ability like it's the human equivalent of that guy that you stare at on the streets because he's showing off his weird human dance shit or whatever the hell your human street prefuckers do. Because if you don't MIND, I would like to live and not be beaten to death by clubs in one of your human leisure areas."

John grinned, deciding to follow what the disguised troll was saying, and to begin to fly. As he began to move, he could feel the breeze surround him. Oh man, this was BEYOND being cool. This was fantastic! The wind was slightly chilled, but it didn't bother him. He actually thought the chill felt nice.

His sneakers landed gently on his apartment's rooftop, where Karkat flung himself off of John's leg and onto its surface. "I forgot how much flying makes my stomach muscles want to hurl their contents onto the garbage pile that is this planet…"

John didn't hear him. He was too busy trying to take in that he had just flown, like a superhero in some of the comics he read in his spare time! All this time he thought he was just an ordinary human being, but yet all along he was a genuine air master!

After Karkat had gotten his grip on the land, he walked over to John, poking him with somewhat annoyance in his shoulder. "Hey dumbass, I know that you can't remember anything or some shit, but that other guy you saw in the woods is trying to kill you, so we need to hide somewhere safe."

John snapped out of his fantasy antics and turned his head towards Karkat with a confused look. "Kill me? I thought he was trying to kill you."

The troll shook his head biting his lip. "How was it not obvious that he didn't want you back on the meteor? He had to have followed me to this planet, and have been waiting for when I was going to take you back. It was such a fucking moronic move on my part. I…"

"But why me? I never did anything to him!" John pleaded. "I swear!" He rubbed his neck and frowned, white sneakers shuffling from side to side with a slight discomfort.

"Fuck. It…It's more my fault then yours. When we started dating…"

John sighed. "We're not…"

"Don't fucking start. We were, whether you realize it or not.." Karkat grimaced. "We were...and I didn't pay enough attention to Gamzee, so now he wants me to pay for my lack of acknowledgment by getting rid of my distraction. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened."

John choked. "You have to have the wrong person. I don't have any memory of this, and I think I would know if I dated someone. Especially if it was an alien!"

John's denial stung even more every time he brought it up. It was like the hole in Karkat's heart was getting pried open with construction tools, but there was no repair kit, only tools to break shit down.

Karkat chewed his lip in thought before looking up at John. "Whether you choose to accept the facts or not John Egbert, I refuse to let him destroy someone who I happen to love. And as I mentioned before we need a place to stay."

John looked down below him. "Well, we are on top of my apartment. We can enter through the roof door, and stay there? I have a deadbolt on my door, and if anything, with my super sweet flying powers, we can escape through the window!"

Karkat thought on this for a second, before giving in. "Fine. If that's the best idea your thinkpan can come up with then I have no choice but to go along with it."

They exited down into the apartment, locking the door with every lock they could find, and only then did Karkat also push the couch in front of it's wooden frame.

"Isn't that a bit much?" John giggled.

"It's only a bit much if you want to, oh I don't know, GET FUCKING KILLED!" Karkat scoffed, turning to face the older teen.

John shrugged, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. "Well, I'm really tired! So I'm going to sleep, and try and take everything in. Although I'll be kind of surprised if I wake up tomorrow and this isn't a dream. "

The black haired boy sauntered off to his bedroom, waving goodnight to his beloved fish and Karkat, and crawling under the covers.

His eyes began to droop, and time began to slowly fade away.

XX

It was early morning, and John slowly began to awaken. It all came back rather fast, the events that supposedly happened the night before. "Oh man, that had to have been the weirdest dream I have ever had…" He mumbled, and only then did he feel something shift on his covers.

"Uh…" John slowly turned his head to see what could possibly have made that feeing, only to stop himself from yelping in surprise.

On the foot of his bed, curled in a tight ball was Karkat, himself, passed out from exhaustion.

Not only did this confirm that last night actually happened, but also confirmed that he really didn't know that much about his own life. As much as he hated to admit it, all of the clues led up to the fact that he knew nothing about what was going on. This could only mean that he truly did lose his memories, and everything on this planet was a lie.

Karkat stirred slightly, burying his face in the covers. "Should I wake him?" John mused.

He sat up, crawling to the end of the bed, and looking at Karkat for a few seconds before poking his cheek lightly. "uh…dude?" He questioned, staring at the disguised troll with a decent sized curiosity.

Karkat continued to sleep, when his bracelet wearing wrist siding into the open as he shifted positions.

That's right. That bracelet was the thing that concealed the alien boy's true form. It was so tempting, to see what he looked like one more time. John cautiously glanced around him. Even though he lived alone, he wanted to make sure that Karkat's secret was safe with him.

Carefully he slid his hands onto the clasp, as he took a deep breath, careful to try and not wake Karkat. It would only take one more second to…

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Came a low growl, causing John to freeze.

The teenager gulped, blue eyes shifting over to see two reddish brown eyes glaring at him from the mattress's surface. "Oh. Uh…hi Karkat!"

"Don't you "Hi" me. I told you that revealing myself here was fucking dangerous, but your human brain OBVIOUSLY couldn't comprehend such a simple fact." Karkat huffed, sitting up. "Don't think that I enjoy being a human, okay? I would HIGHLY prefer to be in my own fucking body instead of this fake replacement built for me by this cloaking shit."

"Oh yeah! Now that you mention it you have horns, right? Where do they go when you put the bracelet on?"

Karkat wrinkled his forehead, looking at the bracelet with distaste. "It's some new bullshit that one of us discovered through alchemizing. The item you conceal yourself with changes your body shape to match the human species. All troll aspects are just fucking gone. I don't hate humans anymore, but I do hate being one. It's not who I am, and it makes my very soul want to curl up and curse the world for having ever invented such a piece of shit." The troll paused, gripping the sheets tightly. "But I can't complain. I found you after all." He closed his eyes, taking a quick breath.

John tilted his head, thinking about what Karkat had said. He knew that the troll had feelings for him, and he wanted to do something to help. For some reason, his mind kept screaming to help the troll, but how? What did he have to give? The only thing he could think of was to lean in and kiss him comfortingly on the cheek, so he did just that.

But Karkat couldn't take it at just that. He grabbed John's shirt, pulling him into a full-fledged kiss. John's eyes widened, but something was different this time. He could feel his heart somewhat flutter. Did this actually feel somewhat nice?

He decided to go along with it, just this once. Without really thinking about it, he somewhat leaned into the kiss, Karkat, in return, leaning in as well.

Only then did John's brain truly kick in and he snapped out of it, pulling back. "Woah, uh..I'm sorry! I didn't mean to kiss you back, I just sorta…did."

"I know." Karkat muttered, griping his arm with slight anxiety. "Fuck. I know that." The troll couldn't help but shake slightly. For a second the feelings of having his John back were there. He felt John kiss back, and it stung his heart ferociously to know that there were still slight feelings that this John couldn't even access. If that even WAS what was happening.

"Karkat, you're shaking." John frowned. "Seriously, are you okay?"

Karkat growled slightly, "I'm fine."

John smiled, pressing up the corners of Karkat's mouth. "Just relax. Things can't get that bad, you stutid fuckass. Hehe!"

Karkat froze. "It's not stutid, it's stupid."

_(EB: maybe you got what you deserved, you stutid fuckass!_

_CG: STUTID?_

_CG: WOW, YOUR SPECIES REALLY IS BRAINDEAD.)_

John had said that before! The first time that Karkat had talked to him, those words were used! Was it really a coincidence? Or could it be that John was subconsciously remembering an actual conversation. "Wow, your species really is braindead." He stated, hoping that it would trigger some sort of memory.

"It's an in-joke!" John automatically replied, but stopped himself, a puzzled expression crossing his face. "Wait…no, it isn't. Why would I say that?"

Karkat's eyes widened. "It's because you've said it before. John. That's a fucking memory!"

John looked at him, still just as confused. "But I don't…wait!" He closed his eyes, concentrating really hard on some form of thought. "…trolling backwards? Someone was going to troll me backwards?"

Karkat put a hand on John's shoulder. "No shit! That happened! Think Egbert. Try and remember more."

John nodded eagerly. This was his chance! He could recover what he had pretty obviously lost! He focused hard, trying to hold onto that memory and recover what he had lost. Only then did a searing pain drill its way into his skull. John let out a loud yelp, grabbing his head with both hands. "AUUGGH!" He screeched, curling into a tight ball.

"What the fuck did you do?" Karkat said, a worried expression taking over his face as he watched John shake violently, wrapping himself in the blanket.

"Karkat, it REALLY hurts!" John whimpered, pulling at his hair.

"What can I do to stop it? Do I look like a god damn medical expert?" Karkat stated quickly, though his eyes searched frantically around the room. Human medicine. Anything. Shit. Shit. Shit. This wasn't good.

John clenched his teeth. What was this strange pain. It was as if he couldn't even think. It was as if he couldn't even function. He wormed his way onto his pillow as the pain died down, but his body was shaking slightly. He wasn't a genius, but he came to realize something in that moment.

He didn't just lose his memory; someone or something didn't WANT him to remember. When he tried to remember it was if there was an artificial wall inside of his mind. That's why there was pain. Something was physically blocking him from almost all of his thoughts.

Lose his memory?

HA.

This was no accident.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner! I've been out a computer, but I finally have had a chance to write the next chapter! I've also had a lot going on in my life, so it's slowed me down with updated considerably Thank you to every one who has been reading so far, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter. With that said, here you go!**

John let out a displeased murmur, pulling the sheets over his head. The pain was unpleasant, and he shivered as it slowly went away and faded into the atmosphere around him. Fingers clenched the sheets once more, as he pulled them down again, lips fighting for a steady breath. He didn't want to go back there again.

He pinched his eyes shut, slowly opening them again, and sitting back up on the bed, looking at Karkat with a whole-hearted belief reflected in his blue eyes. "I believe you, Karkat." the teen stated, the room still spinning but slowly coming to a stop. "I...I know now that you're telling the truth."

Karkat looked over John's expression, trying to read into his thoughts, but having no luck as if his mind was protected by a code that the best hacker in the world could not break through. As if any understanding of the current situation had been sent inside of the depths of a trash dump, never to be found again amongst the endless clutter. He didn't understand why now of all times, John had decided to believe him. Until this point John had merely thought that he had lost his memories, but now he knew. Now he was as sure that his current existence was nothing but a disguise to his true lifestyle, as he was that Con Air was the best fucking movie that had ever been made in any particular universe.

"Why now?" Karkat demanded. "Why the fuck put your faith into me now? It's not like I haven't been telling you this shit from the beginning. I mean, I'm not stupid John. I know that from the beginning you were only following me because you wanted some sort of adventure. You didn't want to work in a human grocery store your whole life, which is FUCKING REDICULOUS, because that's not where you belonged anyway."

John reached over to the nightstand, grabbing his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose and looking through the prescribed lenses at the cloaked troll. "Because.." John started, thinking on it for a good few seconds. "I dunno! I guess that I just didn't!" He let forth his first goofy grin since the pain had infiltrated his head, shrugging innocently as if nothing had phased him, even though on the inside his mind was the equivalent of a mental roller coaster on an endless loop the loop course.

"You just didn't..." Karkat repeated, scowling for a second, but his expression quickly relaxed. "Well, I guess that sounds about right for you, Egbert." He muttered. "But I know that that's not what you mean. Although I'm not going to push the subject this time, don't expect me to be so easy on your answer the next time you decide to open that god damned mouth hole of yours."

John hesitated, realizing that this Karkat guy obviously knew him well enough to know that something was on his mind. It was somewhat unnerving to not know the purpose of why this person knew you so well, but he didn't want to hide from him. "Heh, you caught me." John sighed, but maintained his grin even though it was a false one.. "I guess I just don't know how to take this whole thing, and I'm so lost in what to do that I have no other choice but to go with the flow and stuff."

Karkat grimaced suddenly, his expression going into an almost pained state, as if he was remembering something that he didn't want to surface. "It's my fucking fault." He muttered.

John furrowed his brow in confusion, not quite understanding what was going on with Karkat's sudden mood change. "What do you mean?"

Karkat folded his arms leaning against the bed post. "I...I messed up John. I know I did. That's why you left in the first place."

John scanned his expression with a furrowed brow, trying to get at what he was saying.

"Look, we had a fight, okay!? Right before you disappeared we disagreed on something, and it was something stupid too. I didn't want to re-bring it up when I first reunited with you, because I didn't want to trigger that memory. I didn't want you to leave again." The cancer troll shifted from side to side, as a sign of obvious discomfort. "And to make it worse, Gamzee is out there, and so I'm not sure how to even get us back to the meteor to fix what I've done."

John opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and opened it again. "I don't remember this fight we had, and I don't know how to fix what happened. But I do have an idea on how to get to the meteor.." A bright smile snuck it's way onto his face, as he put a hand gently on Karkat's shoulder. "You'll just have to trust me on this."

Karkat looked up at the teen, rolling his eyes but knowing that there really was no choice but to go with his idea. What other options were there? "Fine, we can run your idea."

John laughed, giving Karkat a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. "Great! Now here is what we have to do.."

X X X

"Are the glasses really fucking necessary, Egbert?" Karkat groaned, looking at himself in the mirror, a pair of beagle-puss glasses resting on both his and John's faces.

"Heck yes, they are!" John cheered. "Aren't they sweet?" He pushed them up further onto his face, giggling lightly. "He'll never see us coming."

"Reality check, dumbass. He'll see us coming from a mile away. I mean it's not like we fucking stand OUT or anything." Karkat grumbled.

John put his hand reassuringly on Karkat's shoulder, trying to push back a mischievous grin. "Hehe, I guess you're right, but we should still keep them on us just in case. You never know when you'll need a clever disguise."

"I do actually, and that happens to be never, I-" Karkat was about to retort again, but decided against it. Something had been occurring to him lately, that made him fee even slightly better about the situation. John may have lost his memories but his personality seemed to still be there. He was still John. He took the glasses off his face, folding them, and putting them in his pants pocket.

John sighed, and reluctantly took his off as well. He really did want to wear them, but Karkat had a point. They would stand out way too much.

He crossed over to the door, reaching to unlock it, but not positive if it was smart to go out the front way. "Maybe we should go out the window, just in case?" He turned to Karkat, chewing his lip as a nervous tick. "I mean, I can fly. If I remember how, that is"

The Cancer troll shook his head. "You'll remember. It's muscle memory shit. Though I wouldn't know it works."

"Trolls can't fly?" John asked curiously.

"If they're God Tier they can, I guess, but not me. I'm just fucking...different." Karkat's eyes lowered to the floor. "But if we could switch the subject that would be incredible as fuck."

"What's so bad about being different? Isn't it good to be an individual?"

Karkat's eyes lowered once more. "It's not that fucking easy."

"Huh?" John stared with a blank confusion.

"Look, I told you before, but since you don't have your memories, troll society is...different." Karkat rubbed his bracelet, frowning slightly. "It's not good to be different where I came from"

"If you say so, dude." John walked over to the window, pushing it up, and letting the cold air flow in on a breeze. He beckoned for Karkat to come over, and so the cloaked troll did. "I guess you can just hop on my back and hang on?" The teen suggested, tapping his chin to think of other ways to do it, but thinking of none.

Karkat made a face, climbing onto John's back slowly, piggyback ride style. John then proceeded to focus on the air, and hovered slightly above the ground. He floated to the window, carefully fitting himself and Karkat into through it's rectangular opening.

It still felt amazing. In fact, he doubted he could ever even get used to it. Both of their eyes scanned the area for Gamzee, but did not see him. The transporalizer laid within an abandoned part of the park John hovered high above it, still keeping an eye out for Gamzee.

"I think it's safe to land" He whispered to Karkat.

Karkat glanced around nervously one last time. "Then do it already, dumbass."

John landed on the rounded white platform, and to his surprise his surroundings began to change. All of a sudden he was in a gray room with several hallways surrounding him.

Karkat hopped of his back, feet shakily hitting the ground. He reached onto his wrist removing the bracelet, and returning to his troll state.

John turned around, immediately noticing the "change in species". For some reason it fascinated him. The horns, the gray skin, the fangs...It was so foreign, yet so interesting.

It was only then that he noticed another troll sitting in a computer chair, turning around to face him with a pleasant smile on her face. She wore a red skirt, and a black shirt that also had a symbol on it, but of a jade green color. "Oh, John. Welcome back. We have been expecting you."

**A/N: Again, I am terribly sorry for the delay between chapters. The next one might take awhile too, because I'm still experiencing a whirlwind of events in my life, and am going to a convention in two weeks. So basically I have to prepare for that. Thank you!**


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